changing emotions

yesterday afternoon i went to a customer of ours for a presentation of his new campaign and he really liked it, so i guess we're getting this new job. after leaving the customers office i felt a bit strange, sort of lonesome. my job was done, but i wasn't as satisfied as i should have been. so i decided to go for a walk and went down the street. i started thinking about a lot of things, which trouble my mind for some longer now and since i realized what happened to me i was somewhere in nowhere and felt real sad and terrible, like being all alone and homeless, restless... can't really tell. suddenly i needed to feel close to someone. i felt like i needed to hear the voice of a person that i love and whom i know that he loves me. i called my man and i was more than glad to hear his voice. he was already on his way back home. so we talked for some minutes. it felt so good to have him on the phone and we made out to meet home as soon as we can. about 20 minutes later i came in and he was already there. it's such a great feeling to come home and having someone waiting for you. i guess at this point i couldn't have standed an empty flat with empty rooms and silence all over. he must have felt i was down somehow, so he made us lay down on the bed and i told him about how i feel. there are days in my life when i don't care about having no family to relay on. there are days when i don't miss my friends that much, but a little. but as everyone even me, i got some weak days when i feel like there's noone connected to me, noone i can relay on, when i miss having parents and siblings and friends around me. so it was one of thoses days and my man was so great and full of understanding. i told him about my arguing with yas and my fears and he kept me in his arms and listened. when it came to his point of view he became quite realistic telling me that i have to face the situation the way it is and i can't do nothing, but wait. he was right for sure and i knew, but i didn't feel like i could handle the truth at this point. i left the flat a few minutes later and came back by 2 in the morning.
he was waiting for me on the sofa with a book and some red wine. as i sat next to him we talked again drinking some wine. he made me see, that he doesn't feel good when i suddenly leave the flat without saying a word. it makes him feel like he did something wrong or can't give what i need at this moments. i must confess i truly needed to be hughed and told that everything is all right and is going to be fine. i needed someone giving me some trust and hope and handling my sorrows, but i feel it's okay that he was realistic and clear and gave his opinion. it's not his job to tell me what i want to hear. and if i can't bear it, it's my fault not his. noah wanted to excuse himself for having reacted in a wrong way out of his sight. i tried to calm him and told him how much he means to me and that i love him more than i can say. i didn't mean to make him feel bad or inadequate, so i tried to make us both feel better. he was so cute as he said: "i wish i could do magic and make her appear here right in front of you, but i am afraid it wouldn't change anything." that was my cue to do some magic on my own for us and i must tell i saw more rising than the moon that night. he is awesome and i still can't believe that he is my men. i still miss yas a lot, but i feel much better now. i really got the feeling that no matter what happens it's all turning out in the way it should be and moreover what ever that means i think i can handle it.