thoughts about yas

last few days i really tried not thinking about it, but i can't hinder. i miss my best friend yas. last time we talked was after a real bad fight when she was on her way to dubai. we had only few minutes to work it out and i am glad i got this chance before she left. still there's so much doubt and fear and i miss my little princess. i can't tell how much i love her, she's just my best friend, my family and my soul-mate in one. it's 18 days now that she's gone away, real far away and i only recieved one email since then, a few days after she arrived at her uncles house. i hope she's doing fine and i know she needs some place and space on her own, but it makes me feel sad not get any replay on my email oder sms. seems like she disappeared somehow. there's been lots of drama and trouble in her life and i know i put my stick on that fire, too. when yesterday my friends arrived and stayed for a while i thought of her a few times and i wish she'd be here. i can't do more than wait and see and hope everything's turning out in a good way. hope dies last, right? my greatest fear right now is that things changed between us forever, for spoken words can't be taken away, but actions can't neither. i hate to sit here, thinking about her and to know i just can't slip out my door and the next door in for she lives next to me. i do not even dare to step into her flat, cause it's all dark and empty, not like she's gone out to work or for having a drink, but like, she's never coming back.
what a sad day, it's another day without her...