meeting with jesse

when i came back from my doc's visit i asked jesse, if he might like to have a coffee with me. so we met at the campus and went to a nice small café where i had my most beloved coffee with a lot of milkcreme and cinnamon... njam... delicious. we talked about the evening we spent a few days ago and he said he was sorry for leaving that early and that he feels like he shouldn't have talked about his boyfriend in the way he did. i asked him some questions about his boyfriend and i was surprised to hear that they're together for more than three years now and they do have a legal partnership, but still he calls him his boyfriend, but not his husband. i went on asking some things and tried to make him think about his situation. to find out, what he wants or not and i felt it was important to tell, no matter what noah or me said the days before, as long as he's happy with that situation, everthing is beautiful. but if he feels uncomfortable with it, he might think of what's wrong there. jesse pointed out that he felt sort of emberassed by our acting, the way noah and me treat each other, all theses small simple gestures, that say how much we care for each other. he would love to have it, too, but his man is not into such things, so he said: "i must learn, to live with it". of course my next question was: " do you must or do you want?" and he replayed: "i must, because i want. i want him and noone else". so i asked jesse if he could teel how much in that relationship is him and how much is his man? where does he start and where does the person jesse end, where does he start to cut himself in perspektive towards his man and this relationship. he was unable to answer that question and to be true i didn't expect any answer, but i guess i made him think about it a bit more.
it's been a real nice morning and i plan to repeat it. still jesse is a person i seem to be able to handle with.